CDO and ADHD

C.D.O is like O.C.D, but the letters are in order the way they are meant to be.

I have a little bit of O.C.D, but with A.D.H.D to go with it. I don't like putting the periods in acronyms, so from here on out they won't be there.

ADD

First I would like to say that I have never been officially diagnosed with either of these disorders. I do not mean to poke fun at them, just describe me a little bit. When I was a child the counselor at my elementary school told me that I had ADD. ADHD did not quite exist yet. Every child was getting diagnosed with ADD if they couldn't sit in a classroom for 3 hours straight. I didn't want to be put on medication so I avoided it as much as possible. I was brought into the counselor's office to be tested for ADD. I knew what the visit was about before hand so I stopped by the library and did some research on the tests. I studied for two days, the hardest I ever studied for a test. Now, because I have ADD for real, I wasn't able to fully convince the counselor that I was a perfectly normal child, but I did give her enough doubt.

Instead of calling my parents to send me to a therapist, she gave me a note to bring home. I promptly discarded the note in a trash bin on my way back to class. Because she had not heard from my parents after a few days, the counselor determined that because of my ADD I had neglected to remember to give the note to my parents. So this type, as was done with all of the kids who had problems bringing notes home, she taped it to my shirt. I was fully aware that the tape was not permanent, and discarded the second note as well. After that the counselor thought my parents were crazy for not bringing their child to therapy, but my grades were fine and I had passed the test, so she couldn't do anything.

Now, I consider myself a smart person. I think the only reason I have been able to survive this long without medication is because I am fully aware of how my behavior works, and how to deal with it. I was able to make it through high school and graduate with a 4.3 g.p.a. (periods are back) on a 4.0 scale. Honors classes were worth more.

OCD

I have a mathematic, logical, but creative brain. The math and logic side likes things to be in order. I have over time determined that because of this I have OCD. For example, the white board at my office has all of the markers facing in the same direction. My closet at home is ordered by type of clothing and color. The spices in my cabinet at home are arranged by height with all of the labels facing forward. I used to think I do these things for efficiency but I have learned that it is truly OCD.

My friends came to my house to visit one evening. While I was in the restroom relieving myself of multiple bottles of beer, one of my friends thought that it would be funny to play a trick on me. After my trip to the restroom I went to the kitchen.

Friend - I can't believe that you knew right away!

Me - Knew what?

Friend - That I turned the spices backwards.

I quickly opened the cupboard to discover that the spices were all facing forward.

Me - Don't screw with me like that. You know I like things in order.

My friends then related what had happened from their view point. While in the bathroom, they had turned the spices backwards. Upon exiting the bathroom, without realizing what I was doing, I walked to the kitchen, opened the cupboard, and turned the spices forward. The above conversation than began.

The Combo

Now as you may realize somebody with a short attention span that is very easily distracted (ADD Gary) and someone who likes things in order (OCD Gary) don't always have the same points of view. People with extreme OCD will knock on a door three times, then the wall, then the door before unlocking it. I think I have that. But, for me I walk up to the door, and before even knocking the first time, I get distracted by the shiny door handle, unlock it and walk in.

Generally OCD exits at a point where you feel the need to do something otherwise bad things will happen. Sometimes I'll start thinking that this happened because I didn't do that, but then I will get distracted and continue on with my life. Later I'll remember what I forgot to do, and then I'll suddenly start having a panic attack, because forgetting to knock on the door properly before opening it is probably the reason why my computer crashed 15 minutes later.

This combination of OCD and ADD can make me appear fairly normal, until you get to know me. Once I start talking about what goes on in my brain, people have a tendency to get scared. I attribute this to the reason why I always make great first impressions, then... oooh something shiny...

This weekend I took a trip to New York City. My friend is in the city for work, staying on the 33rd floor of a high rise a block away from the Empire State Building. Here are a few of my experiences.

American Idiot

I saw the Broadway Musical "American Idiot". For those that do not know this is a musical based on the album by Green Day. My discount rate seat was in the Orchestra Pit, so I got to see a Broadway show from an amazing view.

I always knew the album was telling a story. I had a hard time following the story because some of the pieces didn't fit together. One thing I got out of the musical was the realization that the album tells more than one story. The musical follows the lives of three young men and their life journey's. From military, to drug abuse, to a child at an early age and alcoholism.

My first feeling was one of inspiration. To get out and make a drastic change in my life. But as I watched all three of the characters in their journey's found hardship and eventually collapse. The musical ends with the trio returning home after their experiences, not with their tails between their legs, but with their heads held high because they had lived.

It was amazing how I felt a strong connection with the characters, and came back with a feeling of wanting to go back to the punk rock lifestyle. Even though they all experienced a collapse, they all had a major growth.

Who knew Green Day was so deep?

Coney Island Train

I visited Coney Island, because all of the shops have been given a notice to vacate by the 15th of this month. Now I am not sure if they are going for good, or just being "updated". I do know that the miles long wooden boardwalk will be torn up and replaced with cement. The area was like a ghost town, but apparently that was fairly normal for this time of year.

However, the most interesting part of this journey was the train ride to the station. Sitting across from me and my friend was an old man, that I would guess is probably homeless or at least very poor. The train line was under construction, and he talked to us a lot about how the rails had changed over the last 50 years. He recollected on the days of ceiling fans and tweed seats on the train.

The funniest part came at the end of the line. The whole time the man was talking about how the train operators didn't know how to do their job. He complained about how the man was bringing down the lowly people because they could not figure out how to properly spend money. This line was over 50 years old and was being fixed because the disrepair had gone too far. And while the trains were in brand new condition, they apparently always ran late because of the condition of the tracks.

Once the train stopped, every car opened their doors to allow the passengers off, except for the car we were riding. Eventually the old man left the car to try to find an open door, and we were allowed to leave. The metro police at the station stopped me and my friend and asked us whether or not the old man had made any threatening comments. Apparently his dissatisfaction with the operation of the line had resulted in death threats against the train operators, and there was an investigation. We explained that today he had seemed very friendly, and only a little bit "off". The metro police made a correct guess stating that today he probably didn't smell strongly of alcohol.

My friend and I agreed that the fact that this man had been riding the train since before the police were an itch in their fathers pants, kind of gave him a bit of a right to be upset. However, death threats aren't cool.

The Bar Scene

One of the best experiences in New York was the bar scene. Growing up in Los Angeles, I had become used to the idea that everyone in a bar thought that they were the center of the planet. In New York it was completely different. I was able to sing Karaoke in a crowded bar, because nobody in the bar had the ability to sing. They were all out there to have fun, not to get discovered. And the women would actually speak with the men. You could walk up to girl in the bar and strike up a conversation without the stuck up pretentious response common to women in bars in LA.

We attempted many times to get into a speak easy, or hidden bar, but were unable. It's not that we couldn't find them, but most closed at 4am, before we got there, or were too crowded to accommodate us. And the bars in New York are many. If you walk a block away you run into a different bar with a different crowd. People in New York get off of work and then want to head out to the bar. Unlike LA where it means an entire evening plan, New York was just walk down the block to the closest bar. And because of the large populace in a small area, and the fact that it gets really cold during the winter, the bars are local to people within a few block radius. When the weather is not bad, this makes for really easy bar hopping.

Other Sites

The best view I had of the city was from the living room of my friends apartment. I also walked around and saw some of the sites. I went through Central Park, the day before the NYC Marathon. I saw the Met. I saw Times Square. I hung out in the Trump Tower, where my friend works. I walked 5th avenue. I even went inside the library that they hid in on that crappy end of the world movie "The Day After Tomorrow".

Overall it was a fun experience. It was a short weekend, but I did a lot. If you get a chance, I recommend a visit to NYC.

Intro Blog Take 3

My Life Journey originally started when I was going to quit all mind altering substances for an entire year. I am not a drug user, so for me mind altering substances included caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. After 7 weeks I gave up on that idea. Take 2 was when I decided to quit smoking again. That attempt only included 1 post, and didn't last very long either.

Take 3

After reading http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com for a while, I've had a change of heart on what my blog will be. Much like the linked blog I will be posting the random thoughts that course through my brain. I became very interested in web comics, and wanted to do one of those for a while. I stumbled across http://xkcd.com/ which is much like my web comic would have been. But I realized that in a web comic you can only post a very short thought, and my brain has way too much to put in to such a short format.

Why Now?

Recently I went through some difficult times, and I was posting things on Facebook. Much like the idea of a web comic, a status update on Facebook only gives a small look at the world of craziness that is going on inside my head. People didn't realize the sarcasm in some of my posts. People started to get scared. They thought I was on a downward spiral into oblivion. And in a way I was, but it was more like a rotating circular platform with a giant spiral painted on it, and I was walking along the spiral line towards the center as the platform spun around causing dizziness and a slight loss of my grip on sanity. The difference between this and what people thought was the fact that right now when I decide I am done spiraling I can just walk away from the center of the room and step off the spinning circular platform and be just fine. Because of all of this I took a hiatus from Facebook.

About These Posts

I want to describe what this blog will be about. But I think it's easier to start with what it won't be about.

What this blog won't be about

After recently watching the movie about the origins of Facebook, I've realized that a blog isn't the best place to write about relationship issues. This doesn't mean I won't write about relationships and how they affect my life. It does mean that I won't complain about a potential girlfriend doing a theoretical thing that makes me upset.

This will not be a Dear Diary blog. I want to write things that are inside my head, which I would like to share.

This will not be an attempt to make money from doing something that many other people can do, until I have enough posts to turn into a book and then publish it and rack in the dough! Cha Ching!

What this blog will be about

Random stuff. I'll generally try to keep it on a light-hearted note, but my sense of humor tends towards a dry sarcasm, so the humor may be lost on some.

Items that pertain to my life journey. For example I've decided I want to try to be Vegan for a month. I'm not an animal rights activist, and really I like meat. A lot. But "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" taught me that Vegans get super powers, and I think I would be a pretty good super hero. I don't have any super powers right now, and I am already totally awesome.

Stuff that will make you think, then realize that it wasn't serious at all and you'll ask yourself "Self why am I thinking, when I could be sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine and watching TV or Movies?"

-Religion: I grew up Catholic. I wouldn't consider myself a practicing Catholic anymore, but I do have spiritual beliefs. The ones that are less on the serious side will be shared here.

-Politics: I plan to eventually rule the world, but unlike movie villains, I would like to take the route of getting voted in as Emperor of the entire world, as opposed to viciously taking it and then being in charge of a bunch of people who don't like me.

Conclusion

This isn't much of a conclusion, because really it's the end of the first post. When this becomes a book people will look at this and be like wow, this was a really short book. And then they'll be like that is a very large appendix that follows the true contents of the book. I've never been diagnosed with A.D.D,. but that's because I've avoided it. I read a book about the common signs of A.D.D. before meeting with a counselor in elementary school, and did everything in my power to not show the signs.

As the blog grows and progresses I will probably come back and make edits to the part about what this blog is about and not about. Maybe I'll get drunk one night, delete the whole part about not writing about relationship problems, and then write a post, and totally regret it the next day when my hypothetical girlfriend hears about how I was upset about the way she folded my underwear on Good Morning America because I'm so famous and then breaks up with me. I would also like to mention that I have a lazy version of O.C.D. I'll write a post about the A.D.D. and O.C.D. at some point.